I don’t get it. It goes up for no reason, it goes down for no reason. The stock market doesn’t make any goddamned sense.

That’s the efficient market hypothesis.

If the stock market made any goddamned sense, you’d be able to exploit that sense and capitalize on it.

It follows that early stock markets should’ve made sense, then gradually made less since over time until we reached the balls-out-bananas-in-your-ears, christ-jesus-but-why? level of confusion that we see today.

This is a 400 year project that culminates in an absolute zero of sensicality. It is beautiful and you should appreciate it.

But what about these finance headlines that give reasons for things.

The purest variety of performance art.

Finance is just looking for anything that makes sense, then destroying it first.

My favorite finance headlines are the tautological ones, along the lines of 'Stock market down as stock market fails to go up or stay same.'