Dear evolution, why is it so hard being a human?

Oh, that’s easy.

Consider the roach. If you’re a cockroach, you’ve been in the same body plan for over 100 million years. Coming into existence as a roach is like sitting down in a cushy chair grooved to precisely accomodate your body.

Humans have only been in their current form for about 200,000 years. Being born a human and expecting to enjoy it is like taking the first ever pair of shoes and imagining they’ll be comfy, even though they’re probably like, rat fur stuffed with straw.

It’s so obvious. It explains so much.

Why do you think babies start life screaming?

A human?! WAAAA

The bad news is there is no WAY humans are getting to year 100 million.