Dad, you ever feel bad you didn’t grow up to be what you wanted when you were a kid?

Nah.

Like a lot of those fantasies were incompatible. 16-year-old me wanted to have 8 hot chicks treating me as a sort of sex-emperor 24/7. 5-year-old me wanted to be a cheetah.

I mean how you gonna do both? If you try to be a cheetah who’s a sex-emperor, you can’t fully commit to either, and you end up with nothing. That’s just common sense.

Dad, this conversation is neither helpful nor age-appropriate.

I’m being the father of my fantasies.

Coulda been a sex-cheetah.

Now he's back to cheetah, which is the higher calling.