Ha! Your alien weapons are no match for human ingenuity, Gorblax!

Very well. I didn’t want it to come to this, but I’ll have to declare the one fact that will psychologically devastate humanity forever.

Impossible! You could never understand our psyches well enough to do that!

All affection from dogs is actually sarcasm.

Christ.

Also cats love you with an undying loyalty but don't know how to express it.