Dad, I want to ask this girl out bu twhat if she doesn’t like me?

Then run.

RUN!

My god that’d be embarrassing. A person who doesn’t like you in particular. Not just your music taste or hair or whatever, your whole being is rejected outright

This sort of thing is why mom left you, isn’t it?

Can’t leave me if I don’t answer my phone.

2 trillion unread voicemail (approximate)

The other thing is if someone tries to break up with you just scream nonstop. You'll run out of breath at some point, but then you'll pass out, so you're safe as long as you start screaming again once you wake up.