Many quadrupeds engage in a strange behaviour called “stotting”.

When a predator is near, they jump up high, in a conspicuous display that appears to waste calories.

The best evolutionary theory is that stotting is an “honest signal”. It tells the predator “I’m too athletic to catch. Eat someone else.”

In order to test the theory, we equipped a random deer with jet-oots. It was then able to “stott” up to 4,000 meters high.

As expected, local carnivores came to worship the modified deer as a god.

The effect was so robust that it also affected omnivores.

Hey, anyone else wanna go worship te all-glorious sky-deer?

You read my mind, dude!

The results were transmitted via peer-reviewed journals.

nature - New Research Suggests You Must Obey Our New Master

The new god’s magisterium expanded.

By presidential decree, from now on, the reindeer drive santa.

The unifying effects were profound.

Let us end war. Let us end borders.

We are brothers under jet-deer’s heaven.

Later, a bird of prey took down the deer.

squack! Where is your god now?!

Humans adjusted to deicide with remarkable ease.

Honestly, I’ve gotten used to having my fundamental beliefs about the world shatter at least six times a year.

It’s nice to have things back to normal.

Hey listen. Turns out I still want to kill you. Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking earlier.

It’s funny. I can’t even recall why we stopped fighting in the first place!

OBEY.

You can do a similar thing to a human by giving him wool socks and sandals, which he must wear at the same time.