Titan

Fact: Saturn’s moon Titan has a hydrocarbon-rich surface.

Fact: Beneath that surface there is water, either as liquid or slush.

Therefore: We should light Titan on fire.

A mission proposal

Step 1: Drop nuclear submarine beneath hydrocarbons, into water layer.

Step 2: Spread out huge wire ring to electrolyze water, releasing oxygen.

Step 3: Dare Elon Musk to send a flamethrower.

According to our analysis some guy on Twitter called you a bad word for women’s genitalia.

All hands on deck!

Step 4: Accuse the opposition of being anti-progress.

Man has always created fire. Without new things to burn down, we shall grow stagnant.

Step 5: Briefly consider perspective of naysayers.

But Why?

Did the Wright brothers ask why fly the skies?

Yes! Yes, obviously!

Step 6: Marshmallows?

Who’s laughing now?!

(Also if we find life, free fish fry!)

Or we could get more boring, fireless, pictures of Mars or whatever.